Parental Foreplay

Okay, I'm going to talk about sex. Or at least, what has become sex in a household with a toddler and an infant.

Way back in B.C. (Before Children), my husband and I would have wonderful passionate nights. We'd go out to eat, maybe stop for ice cream, watch a movie, feed each other popcorn, whatever silly thing we could think of. Some of our even sexier nights, we'd cook up a fancy dinner, crack open a bottle of wine, eat dinner by candlelight, and then spend the next 3 hours playing doctor on each other that only a couply madly in love can do.

That was before the kids.

Now, our sex life is just ridiculous. It's something out of a Zucker brothers film. My husband comes downstairs this afternoon and says "The kids are BOTH asleep!" I strip in record time while my hubby rips off his clothing without slowing down his pace towards me. 10 minutes later, we're getting dressed. This is sex? The short answer is yes, and we're ecstatic to get it!

I remember for our first anniversary, we went to Niagra Falls and got a hotel room with a balcony overlooking the Falls, and a hottub. We bought chocolate covered strawberries and a big bottle of champagne, sat in the hottub, watched the Falls and fed each other chocolate covered strawberries in the candlelight. Now we don't have time to even reminisce about our pre-children sex life.

I figure in about 6 or 7 years, we'll be able to ship the kids to Zambia or somewhere for a weekend while we re-learn foreplay. I prefer chocolate covered strawberries and champagne to "the kids are asleep!"