Mother's Day and Mother-In-Laws

I was reading the May issue of American Baby. It has a lot of little anecdotes about Mothers in law, as well as some article and suggestions on dealing with mothers in law.
The first thing I thought was: "I wish I had these problems." My mother in law died 7 days after I married my husband. While I'm certain there are many people out there that envy my position, it's definitely not an enviable one.
Consider this: When the grandparents come over, you get a break. It might not seem like one, but you do. You get to take a shower maybe, or perhaps get the opportunity to cook a dinner without a child (or two!) screaming for your attention. While you might not agree with how your mother in law discusses some topics, or disagree with her choice of gifts, discipline, whatever, you *have* that interaction. I only have a void. No break, no grandma, nobody to complain about, nobody to argue with. Those arguments are simply two passionate, loving women disagreeing about the details of raising loved ones.
Mother's Day is coming up. I got my mother a card from me, and one from my children. I was in the local Hallmark, feeling like I missed a card somewhere. I don't buy Mother's Day cards for my Mother in law anymore. Now, we bring flowers to her grave.
So all you married ladies out there: Go ahead an argue with your mother in law. At least you're communicating with her on some level. The dead don't communicate. They also don't buy gifts for your children that you think are a complete waste. They don't come over so you can go to yoga class. They don't bring a casserole dish of food you love (or hate). They don't give your children hugs and kisses. You might think it's great that they don't belittle or criticize, but that benefit comes at much too high a price.