Why Husbands Have To Do It
A couple of weeks ago, we received a recall letter from our grocery store, stating that our cat food might be recalled due to a small salmonella outbreak, and could we please check the lot numbers on the cat food we purchased, if we have an affected bag, return to the store for a full refund, blah blah blah.
I gave my husband the letter and asked him to please check the bag of cat food. A week later, he still hadn't done it. I asked him to do it again. Then my husband asked me a question that he's still begging forgiveness for: "Why do I have to do it?"
I was so shocked I didn't say anything for almost a minute. He just looked at me, as if he had asked a perfectly reasonable question. After my initial shock, I spent the rest of the day torturing my husband with his infantile statement. Time to cook dinner. My husband asked his daily question: "What's for dinner?" and I said "Why do I have to do it? Why don't YOU cook dinner?". I tossed his dirty laundry on his bed. He looked at me. I simply sneered "Why do *I* have to do your laundry?". Same with the dishes, vacuuming, changing the kids diapers, changing the kids clothing, mopping, picking up toys, fixing toys, taking the kids outside, running errands, paying the bills, you name it.
The next day my husband had finally realized just how uneven our work was, and he shut up with his selfish, childish comments, and started doing it. He repented by picking up all the kids toys and vacuuming the entire first floor. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've had to ask him to help with the daily chores - suddenly he's getting his laundry off the floor, noticing when the dishwasher needs to be emptied, and is making sure the kids are out of mommy's hair when she's cooking.
He's not testing my mood yet - he disappears when I'm cutting up food using a sharp knife. He's no dummy.
So husbands: you have to do all these things because we women aren't stupid enough to ask these questions. You do it because it MUST get done. You do it because you don't want your wife to make your life a living hell. You do it because your wife can wield a knife better than you thanks to all those hours of cooking for your lazy ass.
So get off your duff, pick up your stinky socks and put them in the hamper where they belong. The World Series doesn't start until Wednesday - go empty the dishwasher. And for Chrissakes, don't ask such a stupid question.
I gave my husband the letter and asked him to please check the bag of cat food. A week later, he still hadn't done it. I asked him to do it again. Then my husband asked me a question that he's still begging forgiveness for: "Why do I have to do it?"
I was so shocked I didn't say anything for almost a minute. He just looked at me, as if he had asked a perfectly reasonable question. After my initial shock, I spent the rest of the day torturing my husband with his infantile statement. Time to cook dinner. My husband asked his daily question: "What's for dinner?" and I said "Why do I have to do it? Why don't YOU cook dinner?". I tossed his dirty laundry on his bed. He looked at me. I simply sneered "Why do *I* have to do your laundry?". Same with the dishes, vacuuming, changing the kids diapers, changing the kids clothing, mopping, picking up toys, fixing toys, taking the kids outside, running errands, paying the bills, you name it.
The next day my husband had finally realized just how uneven our work was, and he shut up with his selfish, childish comments, and started doing it. He repented by picking up all the kids toys and vacuuming the entire first floor. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've had to ask him to help with the daily chores - suddenly he's getting his laundry off the floor, noticing when the dishwasher needs to be emptied, and is making sure the kids are out of mommy's hair when she's cooking.
He's not testing my mood yet - he disappears when I'm cutting up food using a sharp knife. He's no dummy.
So husbands: you have to do all these things because we women aren't stupid enough to ask these questions. You do it because it MUST get done. You do it because you don't want your wife to make your life a living hell. You do it because your wife can wield a knife better than you thanks to all those hours of cooking for your lazy ass.
So get off your duff, pick up your stinky socks and put them in the hamper where they belong. The World Series doesn't start until Wednesday - go empty the dishwasher. And for Chrissakes, don't ask such a stupid question.
posted by Mama Padawan | 5:38 AM
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