Overheard...

In the past few months, a few doozies have come out of my mouth. There are even a few that I overheard in Biology class that were pretty hilarious:

"Can I have some sperm?" --in Biology laboratory, studying Embryology

"Stop burying your sister!" --said to my son on several occasions

"Stop eating the cat!" --said to my daughter (I believe 2 years earlier, I said this to my son as well...)

"No sawing at dinner!" --to my son. Whoever is responsible for Bob the Builder toy saws, drills, and hammers, I'd like to talk to. In a dark alley. With no police around anywhere. I WILL find you.

"Do NOT hammer the cell phones!" --see previous mention of Bob the Builder. I will find you. That's a promise.

"No, you can't bring the garden hose in the house." --My son has learned the fine art of turning on the hose water.

"Get off the ceiling fan!" --Yes, I really DID say this. My son somehow dragged a ton of stuff to the middle of the kitchen, piled it all up, and climbed up so he could "hang" on the ceiling fan and spin around. I came back from the bathroom just in time to avert disaster. And no, my son is not allowed to watch the Simpsons.

"Teach me how to train daddy like you did." --said to my daughter. I think it's obvious to any mom of daughters: we had a talent as babies that we lost somewhere, perhaps around puberty? Is there a pill we can take to get it back? I think Merck should work on that pill now.